Hi. I'm writing you out of concern for my husband, who works as the cafe supervisor at one of our local Borders. He has a cafe staff member who is making his life a living hell. You wouldn't believe the drama that has gone on here. He's been there since August, and really loves his job except for having to deal with this one person.

The staff member is female and much younger than he. The first few weeks that my husband worked with her, they seemed to get along fine. However, more and more this employee would not do the tasks she was set to do, argued with my husband about it, and began to ignore him and talk about him behind his back with some other immature people who work in the bookstore. She reported something he said to her about religion (his mistake, I admit...he complained about pushy Christians jokingly and in private, but it was mild) to upper management months after the event happened. My husband was counseled on this, and told he wasn't to discuss it with anyone. He made up his mind not to befriend his staff after that. He's a very hip, friendly and young-looking guy who has a lot of comaraderie with most of his staff.(He's new to this corporate politically-correct BS).

A few weeks ago, after being cursed at by this employee in the cafe, my husband got angry and told her "that if she had a problem with him, to take it to upper management, because it didn't seem like she had a problem doing that." Yes, again, his mistake, but was it really that awful after being cursed at? He was again counseled on his behavior. She was not counseled about cursing at her supervisor. He was told he could not discuss this situation with anyone, not even to defend himself. He was made to sign a piece of paper saying that he would abide by this rule or suffer immediate termination!

The other day a customer mentioned a drink called "sex on the beach". After the customer left the counter, my husband asked "what is in one of those drinks, anyway?" No one responded so he asked again "What's in a Sex On the Beach?" This problem staff member told him "she wasn't comfortable discussing that with him". WTF??? :jawdrop:

There are many more incidents that have ocurred with this staff member, too many to go into in detail. Needless to say, she has my husband by the cajones and he can't make a move for fear of being accused of either harassment or retaliation. (Let me note that he has NOT been accused of sexual harassment in any way.) She's taken to doling out tasks FOR HIM TO DO and treats him blatantly with contempt. Naturally, he's doing his best to be nice to her now, but this is going too far. Every day that he works with her, he comes home miserable and depressed.

He has attempted to talk to upper management on several occasions about his problems with this girl. They tell him to simply "put it in his log". They refuse to counsel this girl for anything that she does. They believe that my husband has a personal desire to attack this girl, and I can attest to the fact that all he wants is peace and a good employee.

I am afraid that she is going to make him lose his job. This is the most blatant case of harassment I've ever seen, but the rules all favor her as a younger female employee. He, as an older male supevisor (he's 35), can do nothing whatsoever to clear his name or to defend himself OR to get this girl out of the cafe.

Let me also note that he doesn't have any problems with any of the other staff in the cafe and they all seem to like him just fine. They are all female, as well.

Does anyone have any advice for me? He would be asking this himself but he's not online as much as I am and I just happened to find this forum first. Are there any rules/laws that protect HIM in a case like this? Is there any magical corporate lingo that he can spout that will make upper management sit up and pay attention? My husband likes and NEEDS this job, but I'm afraid that this person is going to push him to the edge. He's either going to lose his cool and get himself fired, or he's going to walk out one day, and I can't say I'd blame him. Too bad we can't afford that.

HELP.